Life List

Inspired by Karen at Chookooloonks, I made my personal life list, a list of things I’d like to do during my short time on this earth. Some ground rules: has to be 100 items, not a gripe list, and sure I likely won’t do many, but hey, that’s life.

My list:

1. Dribble a soccer ball with feet, knees and head 20 touches without dropping it.

2. Refurbish the 1978 Kawasaki in my garage.

3. Go bicycling on the streets of New York City.

4. Spend a night in a national park out West.

5. Learn to tie a bow tie.

6. Attend religious services at an Islamic mosque and a Buddhist temple.

7. Learn to play either piano or guitar.

8. Parade through the Sambadromo in Rio de Janiero during Carnaval.

9. Order a caipirinha for a friend in Ipanema or Leblon.

10. Find my way through a corn maze.

11. Wear a crazy cool, elaborate Halloween outfit.

12. Grow a watermelon.

Check.

13. Learn the details of the life of the Dewald who served the Union at Gettysburg.

Picked up a few tidbits. He spent his time during the battle on Little Round Top looking down on the confederates in Devil’s Den.

14. Write and illustrate a picture book.

15. See a Penn State football game in Beaver Stadium in Happy Valley.

16. Write a book manuscript & pitch it to three agents.

17. Shake David Bowie’s hand and tell him thank you for everything.

18. Do an interview by Skype.

19. Walk through Mammoth Cave.

20. Repair the cuckoo clock on my wall.

21. Play blackjack in Vegas.

22. Make a batch of fresh pasta.

23. See Minsk, Belarus, where my maternal grandmother’s mother was born.

24. Start a book discussion group to reread Ulysses.

25. Play a Tim Fite song on the radio.

26. Write someone’s biography.

27. Cycle 100 miles in a single day.

Did it Oct. 7, 2011. Odometer reads 101.38, as you see. GPS said 105.41 miles. Whichever. It was 100+. I rode from my front door to the Shelby County Courthouse in Sidney and back.

28. See 8 1/2, Cidade de Deus, Wings of Desire and Battle of Algiers in a movie theater.

29. Pick a stock and invest in $50 worth of shares.

30. Eat fruit from a tree I planted with my sons.

31. Write a screenplay, a decent one.

32. Live within a half day’s drive of the ocean.

Check. I moved to Richmond, Va., in April 2012. A mere two hours from the Atlantic. Go ahead. MapQuest it if you don’t believe me. Just don’t hate.

33. Serve on a jury with my peers.

34. Learn to recognize 10 different words in Cyrillic.

35. Run a 5k.

36. Attend SXSW.

37. Blow out candles my 90th birthday.

38. Take a nap under the sun on a beach in a hammock.

39. Be named editor of a magazine.

In the summer of 2010, I was named editor of University of Dayton Magazine. In spring 2012, I was named editor of University of Richmond’s alumni magazine.

40. See Lord Stanley’s Cup with my own eyes.

41. Host an exchange student.

42. Rent a cool facility and throw a party for friends for no reason at all, just because.

43. Make a batch of fresh cheese.

44. Take a photograph that is displayed in a gallery.

45. Record a story for StoryCorps.

46. Take an evening walk with the family every night for a week.

47. Visit the city in Germany where I was born.

48. Learn to identify five trees and 10 birds I commonly see from my back porch.

49. Dye my hair a color it’s never been.

50. Score a goal in a rec league soccer game.

51. Make creme brulée with a blow torch.

52. Return to Barombi village in Cameroon.

53. Make a commencement address.

54. Participate in a public rally in Washington, D.C.

55. Use Photoshop to place myself semi-convincingly into 50 historical images. (I’m only up to four images, but I think they’re hilarious.)

56. Win a national writing award.

57. Commission a work of art from an artist.

58. Attend a Major League Baseball playoff game (preferably in Cincinnati).

59. Endow a need-based scholarship.

60. Host a party to celebrate the birthday of the Earl of Sandwich.

61. Sing karaoke in public.

62. Write a letter to Leonard Cohen and send it.

63. Tap syrup from a maple tree.

64. See a band at Austin City Limits.

65. Touch the waters of the Ganges.

66. Have a room with floor-to-ceiling bookcases.

67. Audition for and get a part in a play.

68. Buy another vintage VW Beetle.

69. Dot the i in “Script Ohio”. (Of all the things listed, this is far and away the least likely to ever happen — I got chills just watching the clip I linked to.)

70. Take a multiday bike trip — just me, my bike and a tent.

71. Visit a non-English speaking country with my family.

72. Ride the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier in Chicago.

73. Do pro bono communications work for an agency that serves the poor.

74. Take a monthlong vacation.

75. Teach Gus to ride a bike without training wheels.

76. Attend a film festival.

77. Go downhill skiing.

78. See Amateur Night at the Apollo live.

79. Go fishing in the ocean.

80. Write a clever phrase and somehow sell it on bumper stickers, mugs and T-shirts.

81. Learn to properly pour a pint of Guinness.

82. Go to sleep in Berlin.

83. Wake up in Buenos Aires.

84. See a World Cup soccer match live in person.

85. Travel from one city to another by train.

86. Be in the audience for the taping of a television show.

87. Rig up a video camera mount for my bicycle.

So, I did this, but without much success. Bumpy, bumpy, bumpy. I also tried a helmet-mounted camera, but that didn’t work out much better. Here’s one video I made:

Like I said, bumpy. But it gave an excuse to share more Tim Fite music.

88. See Femi Kuti perform live at the Shrine in Lagos.

Not yet, but I did get to see him at World Café in Philadelphia, which was very cool.

89. Sit on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and read Lincoln’s second inaugural address to myself.

90. Lay flowers on the graves of my four grandparents.

91. Smoke a cigar on a Havana balcony overlooking the Malecón.

92. Milk a cow.

93. Learn to juggle four balls. (I can already juggle three.)

94. Cross the Equator by water.

95. Eat a crepe in Paris.

96. Swim in the Indian Ocean.

97. See live shows by Prince and M.I.A.

98. Go sailing on one of the Great Lakes.

99. Attend a session of oral arguments at the Supreme Court.

100. Pick coffee beans, roast them, grind them, brew them and drink them. I think that’s how that works.

While writing this list, there were things that would’ve made the cut had I not already done them, but I would love to do them again. This list includes: fly over the Sahara, write a magazine cover story, win a court case, teach English classes to immigrants, go skydiving, see the Sphinx, climb the leaning tower of Pisa, attend a Catholic Mass in Pidgin, visit the Mutter Museum in Philly, be paid for a speech, volunteer as a literacy tutor, see George Clinton and his P-Funk Orchestra live, and wake up on Praia Copacabana. If I die tomorrow, I’ve had a good run already.